this is what the rain does to you...

listening to: el tango de roxanne ~ moulin rouge
feeling: my heart breaking

"will drive you mad... his eyes upon your face, his hand upon your hands, his lips caress your skin, it's more than i can stand. why does my heart cry? feelings i can't fight. you're free to leave me, just don't deceive me."


i killed a man today
i stabbed a knife clean through his heart,
and straight into mine


i wanted things to get better, instead... i now feel like the biggest fool and loser in the universe. i suddenly feel so depressed. i received an e-mail that really added the icing to this already awful day. i almost wish i hadn't checked my inbox.

if it were a pen and paper letter... i would burn it. i want to delete it but the masochist in me refuses to press the button and send it to a tekkies version of oblivion. i keep reading it over and over, with total disbelief and a deep sense of disappointment that... after all the tears i've cried... nothing.

haha. things just keep getting better in my world.

life is so freakin' wonderful.

(and if you can't hear the sarcasm oozing from these words you're a loser as well)