the things we have to go through
listening to: dreaming in red ~ the calling
feeling: weighed down by guilt
"i was drowning in a deep sleep, i got no ground beneath my feet."
yesterday was super crazy. i went to this job interview and i think i totally crashed and burned. =( i was so nervous-which was strange, considering i'm supposed to be this really composed and together little business person.
anyway, i feel like the people there believe i'm slightly retarded. sigh. the words tanga and loser kept flashing in front of me like hazard lights. it was awful.
the whole sneaking around bit isn't as fun as i thought it would be. i felt like i was cheating on my boss for heaven's sake! haha! the whole "unfaithful wife" bit... not my cup of tea. my guilt complex and sense of fair play can't stand the tension.
in short, all that energy translated into anxiety and nervousness. despite feeling good about myself, about the interview, i couldn't stop thinking about the stuff i had to do at work and if my boss was looking for me... and what i would tell him when i actually went to the office-- straight from the place where i committed corporate adultery!
dilemma dilemma dilemma.
2 Comments:
I know exactly what you mean!! But I didn't go so far as "cheating wife". Hehe. "Cheating girlfriend" lang. I talked to my dad and Kit about it and asked them if they thought it was a good idea to tell my boss the truth that "I want to see other other people." ;) They laughed at me. But yeah, the guilt's really hard to deal with.
of course i'll make a good wife kris! haha! did you actually doubt it? =)
me too. i told my dad about feeling guilty and the "cheating wife" part--hweh. he just laughed and said i was funny. i swear, our dad's are retarded too.
i still feel bad about it, especially after waitressing at mrs. lim's yesterday. my boss and i played bartender last night and we had a blast. =( i really feel wretched. sigh.
oh well. i have to steel my heart against these pangs of guilt. drat.
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