it's friday and i am sooo not in love!!!

listening to: say you love me ~ simply red
feeling: hungry

"i've been around so many times, that the world's turning in my mind.
but do i think of it? oh it's so-so, what more can you be than the
things they say you've been?"

i've been possessed by a blogging demon. i have this insane urge to keep fiddling around with my blog... which is what i've been doing the whole day (except for that brief moment when i actually worked earlier this morning).

anyway, i want to go home na. actually, i want to eat first and then go home. mom's going to the house today, she's sleeping over because she'll be going back to bacolod tomorrow. i don't know how i feel about it.

sad? maybe a little.

i've been trying not to think about the stuff that's been happening. i might have overdone the "introspection" a tad bit too much. so, i'm declaring war on any form of mental exercise for the time being.

not that i haven't been quietly absorbing everything that's been going on. i'm happier, i think. i've actually resigned myself to the fact that yes--i have to accept the slings and arrows life's been indiscriminately hurling at me.

why the change of heart?

i don't know, several little incidents that mutated into one great big boink on the head i believe.

as much as i hated being called weak and pathetic, i really needed to hear it. it shocked me into making a decision (and more importantly, actually sticking to it) that's been way way overdue.

so there. i still don't have the energy to analyze every minute detail or delve into each nuance of meaning in my recent actions and reactions (and a certain person's lack thereof). aside from the fact that i'm too lazy to go over them again, i don't want to. better to let go of all that's negative in my life, so i'm adopting an entirely new philosophy.

erase.

on to lighter things

i stayed home last night. was really proud because it's a step in the right direction. i was able to enjoy my room again.

so there i was, the lights turned off and several candles blazing. the faint scent of orange blossoms wafted dreamily in the air. man, it was a scene straight out of a trashy romance novel (notice the emphasis on "romance") i tell you.

i had the whole "come into my boudoir and be seduced" vibe down pat.

damn.

alex band singing "our lives" at full blast and the crunch of potato chips being munched on totally ruined the effect.

hahaha.

reality check.